Conformity is a major building block of the giant superstructure of Normal. Normal keeps the engines of the human structures of society, culture and politics, oiled and running. Those who stick their necks out and decide to create their own path and walk or even better, sprint on it, are not ‘normal’. On the other hand, conformity is the way to go for the most because it ensures survival. The jagged edges of exceptional do not bruise their inner child, who is scared as it is. Fear ensures conformity and courage challenges it. Courage leads to extreme successes and failures and many times failures are the stepping stones for success and vice- versa. Success is like walking a rope above the ocean of conformity. This is so because, success thrives on exceptions and challenges. Success needs its own path. Do you still want to be normal?
Tag: Coaching
Co-ordination is an art
Problems occur when the right hand doesn’t know what the left arm has done or is doing. And that hits customer service the most. I have two examples to quote here from my recent experiences.
Firstly, a well known investment firm’s representatives tried to sell some investment advice to me. I listened quietly and feigned ignorance about the matters of money making strategies. This emboldened the salesperson and he started giving me exaggerated figures, so much so, that he calculated the principal as the taxable amount instead of the interest earned through investment. I guess he wanted to scare me. 🙂 I realised that he had indeed become ambitious and certain about acquiring a new client. I curiously asked if they conduct training for investors through some experts. Very willingly he talked about an upcoming training for investors in the area that I live. I thought of exploring the network by attending a training programme. With hope for getting some business out of me he immediately enrolled me online for the said training programme, which interestingly did not happen on the dates promised by him. His organisation’s training and development department totally kind of disowned him and refused to acknowledge his promise. It is an extremely bad example of a complete lack of coordination, greed and insincerity.
Secondly, the hospitality industry in India has indeed come a long way when it comes to customer service. For example, I stayed in a couple of two-tier cities’ hotels. Both were indeed exemplary and stellar in their service to the guests. Each guest is treated as special by them and that is the way to survive and grow in this highly competitive field.
Ensuring better coordination among the staff is the management’s job and to the highly discerning customers of today, it shows and when it shows it benefits the organisation. So, how to achieve that excellence is a challenge. To be continued…
Dealing with the lack of sleep
Not getting sleep is a common problem with lot of people. In my opinion, many times it is because mostly people do not value sleep and just expect it to happen as soon as they decide to sleep. In fact sleep is much more important than most of the things that you give your attention to. Insomnia if too regular, is treated as a disease and once a person gets into the pattern of popping pills to get the much coveted sleep, the cycle of other associated issues start.
The humans of twenty-first century are burdened with the power of brains and the brains are exhausted because of the acute pressure they feel from the information that the overworked eyes, ears and other sensory organs pump into them. Once upon a time people used to cook and eat their dinner while the sun used to go down and then the time for bedtime rituals used to take over. For children the stories narrated by their elders and for adults the warmth of relationships used to work wonders. People used to wake up with the first rays of the sun. Life was easy with the eyes, ears, brains and hearts- all content and ready for the day! Such routines were only disrupted by grief, loss etc. To deal with those setbacks, there used to be the shoulders of the kin to cry on and let out the steam.
Today’s humans are extremely sophisticated beings, straight out of the sci fi novels. Their entire effort goes into conquering the emotions and let the brain take over all the matters of heart. We are trying to conquer the universe and the universes beyond it. There is no respite for anyone. Poor over-worked brain! It has to handle all those complicated stuff that the TV and the computer feed into it along with the myriad emotions stuffed in unrecognisable baggages from our daily lives. In such a scenario, sleep becomes a victim of the brain’s wrath, which does not let it sneak anywhere close to the eyes. After all eyes are the one which strained themselves to get to the brain all that the world had to offer…
How to sleep becomes an issue. Try the following to get 7-8 hours of sleep everyday, which is absolutely essential to stay sane in the long run.
- Cherish sleep! Give it the importance that it deserves.
- Each day should be like the one that you love the most. Take a few moments off from everything in the morning and count your blessings and take a pledge to make it the best day in your life. Enrich it with the experiences that you can manage. Even a smile for everyone you meet can work wonders or just lending a helping hand to someone who needs it.
- Wake up at the same time everyday, come what may, even on the weekends. Fill your day with effort, humour, exercises and cooperation. Rest will follow.
- Do not sit for more than half an hour altogether. Walk around wherever you are. Do not sleep in the day time though a power nap of a few minutes can be a good idea. But it should not be longer than 5- 15 minutes.
- Sip tea at regular intervals without any additive (milk/sugar). You will get used to the tea leaves brewed well. Coffee is equally helpful but without additives. Your last cup should be sipped by 5 pm. Beyond that, it is better to walk around, do yoga etc to calm your mind.
- A rejuvenating bath is relaxing after sunset. An early light dinner is great, just avoid eating too much. Do not let food sit on your chest, i.e, avoid heavy food.
- Going down of the sun should be accompanied with the dimming the lights at home. Beautiful lamp shades and soothing music help. Try piano or sitar music to create the atmosphere.
- Keep the volumes low when you communicate with other family members. Switch off the television and share your own stories with your loved ones and listen to theirs. Play music and dance if you feel like. As it is you know that all TV channels are paid by the vested interests and the information is mostly propaganda. If at all you need to ‘know’, read the newspapers in the morning. Check your tablet/ phone for the news but in the morning, not through the day, unless your job needs you to do so. Believe me, for most, checking newsfeed is an addiction.
- The brain needs to feel secure and relaxed to get into the sleep mode. Calm it with just following your breath and music. Mentally you should get off work and mundane family matters slowly, irrespective of however important they might seem. Transfer your burdens onto the shoulders of tomorrow. Release yourself, Time is the beast of burden, not you!
- Keep the screens off at least one hour before your designated bedtime. Take only those calls that are really important. Focus on your well being not on the issues of the world. Basically let the micros of your own life take precedence over the macros of your perceived realities that have crowded into our homes and bedrooms because of technology.
- Last but not the least, focus on your breath when you get into the bed. Getting into meditative state helps in sleeping.
The relationships that matter
Once in a while it makes sense to take a stock of our life. We are surely going to find some assets and a few liabilities in terms of our well being. More than happiness, well-being should be a more sought after goal since it ensures a good sleep at night. Some relationships which may have seemed to be rewarding and healthy at the outset might turn into worst nightmares or in milder form, irritants. Whereas a few relationships are like soothing warm fire burning bright in the heart. How to identify such soothing warm lights in our lives?
These soothing warm souls may go wherever, but they are bound to reappear in your life sooner or later. Many times they are already present but you just do not see or notice them and one fine day, you notice them or they present themselves and you are kind of totally overwhelmed with the feeling of well being, just because they are there. These positive people in your life are rare but they are there. They do not claim you, neither they disown you. A friend who keeps waiting for your message till late night, concerned whether you have reached home safe or not, or an erstwhile acquaintance who reappears in your life to fill some void that even you were not aware of; are some examples. They do not expect or reject. They are just present when they are or they are just not. Whatever is the case but they are not abrasive. These warm souls do not put you in the dock and judge you for whatever you are. Acceptance is the spark that lights the fire in their case. These relationships are ‘tough’. They endure! Such people live in our hearts. We remember them almost everyday yet we may not express because in our hearts we preserve them. These relationships are not dependent on words… a few are good enough to nurture them.
We humans are the bundles of energy and we impact each other profoundly. Connected we remain even if we do not believe so. Where your receptors reach and whom you receive in your heart is upto you. Most of the times you do not even need to reach out. Lights simply touch your soul inadvertently and brighten your life.
Inclusive Leadership
A global business calls for an inclusive approach to the art of people management. This involves an extremely discerning approach on one’s part, in terms of not allowing any prejudices influence the decisions one takes and the attitudes one displays towards others. In the era of a more than ever and much sharper divide between the conservative and the liberal elements; the art of leadership in the business environment needs a completely different overhaul from within. It may seem like walking a tight rope in the hope of retaining the balance throughout, since it involves a delicate adjustment of behaviour towards others on an ongoing basis. In reality it is more about making the choice in the favour of the actual belief that one holds in the individual as well as the organisational context or re-engineering the values and the belief systems entirely, for good. And it is definitely not easy. It involves a whole process of complex design thinking, keeping the macro and micro environments in view. But it is imperative and imminent.
Therefore, basically there can be two approaches to the concept of inclusive management- firstly, one can do as suggested in the previous paragraph; keep making minor adjustments to your behaviour and walk the tight rope. This is risky though. Secondly, a complete overhaul of the mindset that encompasses one’s belief system.
Both these approaches are completely dependent on the individual’s preferences and inclination towards addressing this issue.
The fact is, a few leaders have already gone through the ritual of affirmation in the present scenario due to certain situational compulsions. These rituals of affirmation have involved drawing the line that puts their organization within a defined ideological spectrum. To send the message clearly to the world, the words have to be matched carefully with the attitude that is on display or that needs to evolve (in case if something is lacking). The resulting actions have to be measured in order to reflect the words that deliver that message. This is a whole lot of work on oneself and the organisation’s ethos. For example, Airbnb leadership acted decisively by canceling the membership of the people who were involved in something that was not aligned to the organisational culture. It came up with a statement in the aftermath  of the white supremacists’ rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, USA; and through that it established itself as both, an inclusive as well as a strong organisation. The statement that they came up with, was as follows,
“In 2016 we established the Airbnb Community Commitment reflecting our belief that to make good on our mission of belonging, those who are members of the Airbnb community accept people regardless of their race, religion, national origin, ethnicity, disability, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, or age. We asked all members of the Airbnb to affirmatively sign on to this commitment. When through our background check processes or from input of our community we identify and determine that there are those who would be pursuing behavior on the platform that would be antithetical to the Airbnb Community Commitment, we seek to take appropriate action including, as in this case, removing them from the platform“. (Source: TechCrunch)
There is a similar example from Google where James Damore was fired for circulating a memo that was not aligned to the basic tenets of Google’s culture. The fact that he went running to hire a Republican lawyer, in the aftermath of his firing proves the existence of the sharp ideological differences that are dividing the people like never before and are present within the organisations as well as outside in the public arena. Google’s CEO simply showed to the world as to where the organisation stands with its diversified work force. In his statements he did not mince the words despite the constant and sharp media attention and the pressure.
Earlier a veil of ambiguity and nicety existed that somehow ensured that the top leaderships did not have to take a stand regarding the issue of diversity and inclusion in media glare and public eye. The issues were dealt with, in their individuality without any political implications in the wider context of ideological adherence. But times have changed indeed, with the rapid crystallisation of ideological leanings, which were definitely there earlier as well but were a little amorphous within the organisations, in contrast to the present day sharp discourse on social media and main media that is so deeply entrenched into the communication patterns of today. Being liberal was just the ideal way to be in the organisational context, in terms of the highest benchmark of thoughts and behaviours. The hypocrisy lurking behind was often ignored or swept below the carpet. The hierarchies within the organisations were always projected to be indifferent to the concepts of race, caste, region, religion, gender etc; therefore the concept of the ‘equal opportunity employer’! Time and again issues erupted and disturbed the peace, yet the official line was expected and remained to be the same. Â The executive leadership of today’s organisation has to be extremely cautious, and self introspection is the need of the hour, given the emotional flare ups and the hypersensitivity on the part of the different parties. A complete re-evaluation and delineation of the values and belief system have to be done.

This is much more important or rather compulsory for the technology giants since they are more in public eyes inadvertently. One can only imagine what must be going on in the organisations wherein media or social media does not have much of a reach.
To be continued…
-Deepshikha Singh