The relationships that matter

Once in a while it makes sense to take a stock of our life. We are surely going to find some assets and a few liabilities in terms of our well being. More than happiness, well-being should be a more sought after goal since it ensures a good sleep at night. Some relationships which may have seemed to be rewarding and healthy at the outset might turn into worst nightmares or in milder form, irritants. Whereas a few relationships are like soothing warm fire burning bright in the heart. How to identify such soothing warm lights in our lives?

These soothing warm souls may go wherever, but they are bound to reappear in your life sooner or later. Many times they are already present but you just do not see or notice them and one fine day, you notice them or they present themselves and you are kind of totally overwhelmed with the feeling of well being, just because they are there. These positive people in your life are rare but they are there. They do not claim you, neither they disown you. A friend who keeps waiting for your message till late night, concerned whether you have reached home safe or not, or an erstwhile acquaintance who reappears in your life to fill some void that even you were not aware of; are some examples. They do not expect or reject. They are just present when they are or they are just not. Whatever is the case but they are not abrasive. These warm souls do not put you in the dock and judge you for whatever you are. Acceptance is the spark that lights the fire in their case. These relationships are ‘tough’. They endure! Such people live in our hearts. We remember them almost everyday yet we may not express because in our hearts we preserve them. These relationships are not dependent on words… a few are good enough to nurture them.

We humans are the bundles of energy and we impact each other profoundly. Connected we remain even if we do not believe so. Where your receptors reach and whom you receive in your heart is upto you. Most of the times you do not even need to reach out. Lights simply touch your soul inadvertently and brighten your life.

What sets you apart?

Being a leader is difficult since it requires a lot of patience, tolerance, resilience, understanding and most importantly assimilation of the positive energy along with the rejection of the negative vibes.

The world needs such leaders more than ever before, since dealing with people is immensely challenging today , given the fact that everyone owns their bit of internet and would like to believe that they know everything. Their attitudes are fuelled not by the consideration of the impact that their words or actions or both might have on others : rather by their, many times completely misplaced conviction, in their own judgments and beliefs.

Humility is one quality that is the hallmark of a great leader because it is always a result of the realization that one can not be ‘much’, without others. This humility, vis-a-vis the arrogance of many, if not most, sets you apart and on a much higher level of success in terms of being able to lead people.

-Deepshikha Singh

The journey of a leader

The journey that lasts forever – from the realm of our worldly existence, to beyond everything ; can be undertaken only with oneself. When do you want to embark on this journey? It is completely your choice. There is no time barrier or time limit. It is simply that you get a call from within you, and you know it is the time. It can happen early or late in life; and it may never happen for many who fail to recognise the ‘call’.

How is this journey connected to leadership? The truth is that it is only a leader, who is the person, who has already embarked on this journey. This leader might be working anywhere, doing anything, impacting whomsoever, but he or she is onto it. Somewhere deep within themselves they know that their ‘purpose’ is bigger and worth leading others towards it. This purpose, when ceases to be only for oneself and takes others as well into its ambit, is the bigger purpose that is much more meaningful.

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To commence this journey one needs a complete evaluation of one’s own beliefs and values, which might spring a whole bunch of surprises at once, and send one on the backfoot probably. Here comes the real mental strength that one possesses and also the ingrained preparedness for getting onto the launchpad of leadership that takes one onto its wings. This is a completely new beginning and also a total break from all the undesirable mental blockades of the past.

-Deepshikha Singh

Inclusive Leadership

A global business calls for an inclusive approach to the art of people management. This involves an extremely discerning approach on one’s part, in terms of not allowing any prejudices influence the decisions one takes and the attitudes one displays towards others. In the era of a more than ever and much sharper divide between the conservative and the liberal elements; the art of leadership in the business environment needs a completely different overhaul from within. It may seem like walking a tight rope in the hope of retaining the balance throughout, since it involves a delicate adjustment of behaviour towards others on an ongoing basis. In reality it is more about making the choice in the favour of the actual belief that one holds in the individual as well as the organisational context or re-engineering the values and the belief systems entirely, for good. And it is definitely not easy. It involves a whole process of complex design thinking, keeping the macro and micro environments in view. But it is imperative and imminent.

Therefore, basically there can be two approaches to the concept of inclusive management- firstly, one can do as suggested in the previous paragraph; keep making minor adjustments to your behaviour and walk the tight rope. This is risky though. Secondly, a complete overhaul of the mindset that encompasses one’s belief system.

Both these approaches are completely dependent on the individual’s preferences and inclination towards addressing this issue.

The fact is, a few leaders have already gone through the ritual of affirmation in the present scenario due to certain situational compulsions. These rituals of affirmation have involved drawing the line that puts their organization within a defined ideological spectrum. To send the message clearly to the world, the words have to be matched carefully with the attitude that is on display or that needs to evolve (in case if something is lacking). The resulting actions have to be measured in order to reflect the words that deliver that message. This is a whole lot of work on oneself and the organisation’s ethos. For example, Airbnb leadership acted decisively by canceling the membership of the people who were involved in something that was not aligned to the organisational culture. It came up with a statement in the aftermath  of the white supremacists’ rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, USA; and through that it established itself as both, an inclusive as well as a strong organisation. The statement that they came up with, was as follows,

In 2016 we established the Airbnb Community Commitment reflecting our belief that to make good on our mission of belonging, those who are members of the Airbnb community accept people regardless of their race, religion, national origin, ethnicity, disability, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, or age. We asked all members of the Airbnb to affirmatively sign on to this commitment. When through our background check processes or from input of our community we identify and determine that there are those who would be pursuing behavior on the platform that would be antithetical to the Airbnb Community Commitment, we seek to take appropriate action including, as in this case, removing them from the platform“. (Source: TechCrunch)

There is a similar example from Google where James Damore was fired for circulating a memo that was not aligned to the basic tenets of Google’s culture. The fact that he went running to hire a Republican lawyer, in the aftermath of his firing proves the existence of the sharp ideological differences that are dividing the people like never before and are present within the organisations as well as outside in the public arena. Google’s CEO simply showed to the world as to where the organisation stands with its diversified work force. In his statements he did not mince the words despite the constant and sharp media attention and the pressure.

Earlier a veil of ambiguity and nicety existed that somehow ensured that the top leaderships did not have to take a stand regarding the issue of diversity and inclusion in media glare and public eye. The issues were dealt with, in their individuality without any political implications in the wider context of ideological adherence. But times have changed indeed, with the rapid crystallisation of ideological leanings, which were definitely there earlier as well but were a little amorphous within the organisations, in contrast to the present day sharp discourse on social media and main media that is so deeply entrenched into the communication patterns of today. Being liberal was just the ideal way to be in the organisational context, in terms of the highest benchmark of thoughts and behaviours. The hypocrisy lurking behind was often ignored or swept below the carpet. The hierarchies within the organisations were always projected to be indifferent to the concepts of race, caste, region, religion, gender etc; therefore the concept of the ‘equal opportunity employer’! Time and again issues erupted and disturbed the peace, yet the official line was expected and remained to be the same.  The executive leadership of today’s organisation has to be extremely cautious, and self introspection is the need of the hour, given the emotional flare ups and the hypersensitivity on the part of the different parties. A complete re-evaluation and delineation of the values and belief system have to be done.

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This is much more important or rather compulsory for the technology giants since they are more in public eyes inadvertently. One can only imagine what must be going on in the organisations wherein media or social media does not have much of a reach.

To be continued…

-Deepshikha Singh